So there I was, last week, in San Diego.
The organizer of the Internet Marketing Party, David Gonzalez, put together a special mastermind just for me. A group of 12 super-smart marketers who agreed to focus entirely on MY business for a few hours – no strings attached. That was a big perk for making the cross-country trip for a 20 minute speaking gig.
And one of the guys at the mastermind was Mark Anthony Bates.
I’d heard his name hundreds of times in the marketing circles – but we had never met or spoken before. Everyone told me we should meet.
So after a few minutes of chatting, I bet you can guess what he said to me…
“Ryan, how can I help your business?”
Yes, it was safe to say I liked Mark from the beginning (ok, I borrowed that quote from Shawshank Redemption – but that movie kicked ass and I’ll quote as often as humanly possible!).
We had dinner together and he never once asked me for a JV. Or a mailing. Or an introduction. Not even so much as a tweet or facebook post.
In fact, I kept asking him what I can do for him and he would just say he didn’t need anything. We both knew it’s better to just develop a relationship and see what happens from there.
THE OPPOSITE OF MARK ANTHONY BATES
So, now you know why Mark is so successful, why people want to genuinely help him and why he’s so connected (plus, he’s also really smart and knows his craft!).
Let’s contrast that with someone else I met at the same party in San Diego.
I just got off the stage (yes, I rocked the stage, of course). The sweat was still pouring down my face since I like to leave it all on the floor when I speak.
I’m off the stage for about 1 minute and a guy immediately gets in my face and within 3 seconds asks that ONE dreaded question..
“Can I pick your brain?”
Yes, he asked me that question.
I started smiling because I thought he was a subscriber and knew just how much I can’t stand when people ask me that. In fact, I just wrote an entire post about that very phrase. So I figured he was busting my chops and I started to laugh.
But no – I could tell by his deadpan delivery he was 100% serious (and obviously not a subscriber).
And before I know it, he lays down a multi-layered complex business question and then waited for my answer. It was the kind of question I’d need to sit down at the computer, look through his site, go through his goals, and spend at least an hour dissecting where everything fits together.
I politely told him I just got off the stage and would need time to think about the answer. I’d have to spend a lot of time learning about his business to give him the best direction.
So, what does he ask next?
“Well, then can I have your cell phone or email address so I can follow-up and ask you more questions?”
No hint of even offering to pay for my time or asking if there’s a program I have where it would help him.
Not even a… “hey Ryan, great job on stage can I ask you a quick question?”.
Nope. It was “Ryan, can you coach me through my entire business for free. And I will continue to just take and take from you. Is that ok?”
ARE YOU F*CKING SERIOUS?
I have no idea where people learn to network or build relationships. You certainly don’t need a degree or a $2k product to learn how to act like a human f*cking being.
Even back in college when I was single and out at the bars looking for a fun night – I never just went up to a girl and said “Hey, my name is Ryan. Let’s go back to the dorm and have hot sex. Cool?”
I’ve said a thousand times relationships are EVERYTHING.
Get your head out of your ass – and provide VALUE to other people first.
Stop talking about YOU, your product and your damn affiliate program. No one gives a shit.
Help others, then connected like Mark Anthony Bates (and yes, myself too) and you can write your own f*cking ticket.
P.S. If you want to become a real marketer – then click here. It’s the only proven system that works every time.