Yesterday, I wrote a post called Don’t be THAT Guy, and I covered some of the things you should NEVER do if you want to build a successful online business.
Today, I’m going to drill down on one of those points. And by following my advice, you will build a personal rolodex that will make even the biggest marketing stud jealous.
The first part of the equation is what to avoid like the plague. It’s one question that will kill any chance you have of developing a relationship before it even starts.
Here are is the deadly question…
Can I pick your brain?
There is no phrase in the English language that makes my skin crawl than those dreaded words.
It implies the person wants to suck all of the knowledge and experience you have – and is not willing to even offer to pay for it.
You are being setup for a one-way relationship – and it never ends good.
Why?
Because they almost never take action on the advice you give…. because it’s free! But if they paid you $1,000 for that session, I can bet they will be taking copious notes and will more than likely take action on at least a few nuggets of wisdom.
As painful as it sounds, sometimes you’ve gotta ante up and buy your way in.
That’s right.
When I first started and had almost no money – I’d buy products just because they came with a bonus 1:1 call with the author. And you can bet I took advantage of those calls 100% of the time! And I’d grill them for every minute of the call.
I didn’t write in and ask to “pick their brains”, I plopped down some cash and paid for it.
When I ran my first event almost 8 years ago, I wanted some advice from a friend who had just run a big event, Yanik Silver. Again, he is a friend of mine – but I still offered to PAY for his time. He accepted, the call went great, I took action on everything he said and the rest is history (Since then, I’ve spoken at 2 of Yanik’s events and he has spoken at 2 of mine!).
GETTING “IN” FOR FREE?
There are a some “stealth” ways to get an in with someone you want to work (in any market) with WITHOUT spending a fortune for 1:1 coaching. Here are a few… Just don’t use all at the same time or you will start to look like a crazed stalker…
- Provide a great written testimonial of their product (But never lie. I’m assuming you actually LIKE their product!)
- Give a powerful video testimonial (this is a sure-fire way to get their attention!)
- Comment frequently on their blog posts (I certainly look favorably on people who are involved in my blog and I definitely remember all your names!)
- Attend their events and offer to volunteer! Help with order forms, registration, etc.. You’ll get to know them personally and also get a “behind the scenes” view of how things work.
- If they are at another event, offer to treat them to a coffee (NOT a full meal because they are probably busy with other meetings) and pay them for their time.
- Comment on their Facebook and Twitter posts
- Write something positive about them on your blog/facebook page.. then let them know it’s up!
That’s just a start.
I’ve said hundreds of times that RELATIONSHIPS are everything.
If you want to get attention – you must first be seen.
And when you take my advice and become visible, please – whatever you do – do NOT ask to “pick their brains”.
WANT TO GET MY ATTENTION? THE ATTENTION OF THOUSANDS OF OTHER READERS? START COMMENTING BELOW!
P.S. My Inner Circle members always rise to the top of my list. Here’s how to become part of the IC family...
Good commonsense always works. Small, simple steps that offer a big pay-off. Thanks for the reminder.
Vikk – the steps I outined work every time.
It’s amazing how some people stay completely in shadows. You’ve gotta step out and get the attention!
Ryan
…. but it’s comfy in the shadows.. Some people are very very afraid of attention – like phobia afraid. It’s kind of a weird dynamic – they “want to want it” but are scared shitless of it. Humans are very strange creatures.
Good post and I am looking forward to the IC session today as we change the face of online orthopedic rehabilitatin forever.
Thanks Chris.
And today’s session will give you a rock-solid foundation for a blog that will DOMINATE the search engines.
Rock ‘on!
Ryan
Mr. Lee, I’ve been absolutely LOVING your blog posts! <– *ehem* See what I did? Shameless.. ;-)
I love the shameless brown-nosing.. and you are now one of my favorite people in the world :)
BTW, please call me Ryan (or even Ry)
Good post Ryan! I remember you talking about how you hate the phrase “pick your brain” before and it has always stuck with me. It’s funny how price really determines how we perceive value, and I guess how we take action as well…
Hey Christian,
It’s such a powerful concept – it needed to be revisited.
Price does often determine perceived value!
Ryan
Great post! One thing I’d like to add, which I learned all those years working with John Reese, was that you should consider promoting someone else’s product FIRST!
If you’re looking to get on the radar of the big players, nothing catches their attention more than making a bunch of sales of their products. This may not always be possible, depending upon where you are in your biz, but even if you just make a few sales… and then send them a FB message THANKING THEM for the opportunity to promote their products… that’s a great start.
Also… another SIMPLE way is to simply do a little bit of research on the person you want to meet, then attend a live event where they’re going to be, and simply find a way to introduce yourself and just be REAL with them… discuss things that are interesting to them and the two of you have in common. Be sincere about it, and just make a connection… and what you’ll find is that they will like you, and remember you when you come to them asking to buy a few minutes of their time, or whatever.
Take care,
Andy Hussong
Andy,
I agree with point #1.
But the reality is “most” people don’t have a big enough list to even make one sale. So, at least, blogging and doing a facebook post about them is a great way to start.
RE: connecting on a personal level. At my last event, an attendee gave me a book about movie trivia – because he knew I’m a movie fanatic. Great way to connect.
Keep on contributing Andy.. we all appreciate it!
Ryan
Good point! Just an idea to consider IF you have the means, regarding the “promote their products first” idea.
Also… here’s another HUGE one…
Ask about the other person. Ask what’s going on in their biz, and look for ways to add value by giving them ideas that might help, such as sales conversion tactics you think may work for them, connections you may be able to introduce them to, or simply offering to help them with an aspect of their biz with no strings attached… “just because”.
Like I tell my students… it’s not rocket science… it comes down to being real, and having sincere concern for others. If you’re sincere in the attention you give them, they will be able to tell that you’re the real deal.
Take care,
Andy
Exactly right, Ryan! I recently read a book by Michael Maher titled 7 Levels of Communication that is an excellent reminder of what you just mentioned. Today, we must all GIVE in order to GET. We often read these great ideas and never put them to practical use in our business lives. This is one we have to make use of. Thanks for this post.
Hey Andy,
That’s right. Give first. And give unconditionally.
People DO remember…
Ryan
There’s so much “fluff” out there, Ryan. It’s always such a joy to slip over to one of your posts for a few minutes … and read nice, tight copy that shares actionable information that you’ve distilled from your years of work in this market. Adds to my arsenal … Thanks! (Love the checklist idea!)
Thank you Sharon – that feedback means a lot to me.
I try to put myself in my subscribers shoes – and share what I would want to see if I were a subscriber.
Help spread the word…
Ryan
Good stuff Mr. Ryan! Thanks — I think most of us really appreciate the simple – no nonsense – common sense approach. The best answers are oftentimes the simplest.
Thanks Ryan.
And yes, simple wins every single time.
Everything comes down to human behavior and relationships! Start there and you can’t lose.
Ryan
Hi Ryan,
I agree. You have to give before you get. The law of reciprocity right?
No one, and I mean no one likes it when someone just hammers them with questions and then says thanks and runs off.
You have to build a relationship, help people first!
I like to come up with at least 1 good thing I can do for someone before I contact them cold.
Always try to help others first and you’ll get far better results from my experience.
Sincerely,
Jeremiah
Hey Jeremiah,
I can’t tell you how many times I get cornered at an event with someone saying “Hey, I have a bunch of questions… can I pick your brain for 30 minutes or so”.
That’s just not the way to interact with people.
Ryan
Great pointers worth utilizing. Thanks Ryan!
Thanks James!
-Ryan
Invaluable advice, as always. Looking forward to seeing you in San Diego!
San Diego will be lots of fun :)
Ryan
Ryan,
In the vein of promoting someone else first, here’s something everyone can do… it’s something we did and got lots of notice:
Before going to your next in-person conference, do a video testimonial for the presenters and then post it to your blog. DON’T tell the presenters you did it (it might seem like you did it just to get their thanks).
My business partner, Dr. Marc Kossmann, and I decided to go to a conference and we found the list of everyone who would speak (it’s available in the marketing materials for the conference). Most were people we already knew (personally or through their work) and those we didn’t, we did some research on them.
We created a video post for everyone. And it sure worked!
Walking into the venue the day before, the organizer (whom we had NOT met before) said to us as he was pushing some display materials to the room, “Hey – Dr. Marc and Charlie: you’re the guys who posted that video about our conference!”
“That’s right, Chuck: we are.”
And he referred to us the rest of the conference.
And when Google searches were done for EACH of the participants using that person’s name plus some reference to the conference, our post was always ON TOP of the organic results.
Three or four of the speakers (all with books and products to sell) sought us out by asking the organizer if he knew us (he did by then!). Other speakers introduced us to their friends and to other speakers.
Video is powerful, and saying positive things about other people is too!
So, Ryan, it’s just a thought. Perhaps your readers can try it before heading to YOUR next event – think of all that added publicity for YOU and for THEM.
Best,
Charlie Seymour Jr
http://ExpertMarketingAcademy.com
Nice idea Charlie.
I can count on one hand the number of people who made an unsolicited video testimonial for me (and one of them, by Kristi Frank is on my homepage!)
Ryan
Charlie, brilliant advice, thanks. This is a similar thing to being prepared for clients of any type. I have interviewed many people in my time for positions in my business and only those that can answer the question ‘What do you know about us?’ have any chance of getting through to the next stage. I guess it’s a bit like the old adage ‘know your audience’.
Charlie, That is brilliant. Thanks for sharing. It never would have occurred to me to do a testimonial before hand. That is a real game changer.
Great tips Ryan.
One thing I’ve done that has worked well is going to live events and interacting with the “big players” at the bar. Buying several rounds and shooting the breeze never seems to hurt :-)
Hey AJ,
Absolutely – in fact, I wrote a blog post about that a week or two ago called “Drink Your Way to a Million Dollars”
It’s been great watching your journey over the years…
Ryan
You know it all started at the Ryan Lee Bootcamp II :-) That event changed my life and the path I was on.
Hey Ryan,
This post reminds me of my daily personal training days. Most of the people knew the exercises and how to do them correctly, especially after working with me for a while. What made them get in really good shape? They paid me good money, that ensured they would show up and work their tales off. When you have skin in the game and invest something valuable to you, you’ll get way more out of it.
Thanks for the latest checklist, I’ll definitely use this on you some day…
Regards,
Joe
Hey Joe,
I had one long-time client who paid me good money to show up 3 times a week in the morning – just to make sure he worked out.
I always offer to PAY first!
Ryan
So true, about putting yourself out there. I was on a training webinar about a month back (being trained) when the host asked a question about running virtual private servers for this particular task. I put my hand up as it’s something I know, 2 weeks later, I’m running a free webinar for their audience showing them how to do it.
Within one week 2 “gurus” approached me for help! The result, we’re now getting paid to help people do something we take for granted. And it was completely unplanned.
Give first – it comes back to you.
Rob.
Hi Rob,
Great story – it’s amazing how quickly things can happen when you put yourself out there. It just snowballs… but you gotta get visible!
Keep on rockin’
Ryan
Ryan,
I really appreciate this info and the checklist style of delivery. You’ve made it easy to understand and, more importantly, to apply. Thanks for posting so much great free content!
Thanks John – I love to make things easy to understand.. and take action!
Ryan
Hey Ryan,
I thought this post hit some great points. I remember early on in my career I think I asked the “dreaded question” of at least one or two industry leaders at the time. Eek. We all have to learn and posts like these help shorten the learning curve. I am brand new to the IC and look forward to checking it out. I purchased your Your Continuity Program earlier this year and it helped me create 2 products in 2 months because you taught the foundation of what was needed then it was up to me to do the work. Again – you shortened the learning curve. All the best, VaNessa
Hey VaNessa,
That’s great you already created 2 products.. I love when people take action on what I teach.
And at least you learned your lesson about asking that dreaded question :)
Ryan
Ryan-
If I could pick your brain for a moment-
Whats the quickest way to make a million dollars?
I bet thats your favorite question (and Im sure you get it all the time). And yes, I’m being sarcastic!
I’ve never really seen the big deal with the pick your brain comment, but I guess it is kind of obnoxious. It’s been used on me, but I don’t remember using it that much, but I’m sure I have. I’m going to be aware of it going forward.
By the way. the IC is just fantastic. I know Chad from a previous conneciton, but that video about the small site buys alone is worth a year membership, and it was only bonus material.
Can’t wait for today’s training and I’m sorry to the other readers of this blog that I made this comment into a commercial.
Mike
Mike – you have no idea just how many times I’ve been asked that question!
I’m glad you’re digging the IC… and you are right, that bonus video about “small site buys” was really kick-ass.
Thanks for your support!
Ryan
Hey Ryan, true networking is in the relationship. There are many who try to do it other ways but, in the end, they’re just cycling through people and opportunities without any real connection.
When the relationship is developed, there’s an AUTHENTIC connection that leads to many win-win situations for all involved.
Thanks for the post man!
Hey Donovan,
You are right – it’s about the RELATIONSHIP. And some of the strategies outlined here can open the door to communication.
Ryan
Great ideas. I’ve tried a few.
I will try them more often.
thanks again for the tips.
KimAlyse
My pleasure KimAlyse!
-Ryan
Other than paying them for their time or volunteering for them, these tactics require some artfulness.
Because basically, a suck-up is visible from miles away. And I don’t know about anyone else here, but I sure don’t respect ‘em.
It all goes back to the transparency/building trust issue. You’ve got to give real value first — whether that’s cash, free labor, or free advertising.
I would avoid the free ego-stroking myself.
Jen – there’s definitely a fine line between starting a relationship and purely sucking-up.
The key is to provide VALUE in every communication!
Ryan
So…stalking them at Starbucks in CT wouldn’t be totally out of the question?? ;-)
Nice one Cathy :)
That’s why I never tell anyone which specific coffeeshop or bookstore I am working from in the morning!
Ryan
Hey Ryan — I appreciate the fact that you’re so involved with your customers on a weekly basis.
If I could take you with me as a guest to the Critics Choice Movie Awards, I would, but I only get one extra ticket and my wife would disown me if I took anyone but her (especially after she got to chat with Colin Firth at the last event).
Hey Jim,
C’mon.. your wife would totally understand if you took me instead :)
Ryan
Ryan,
YOU HIT THE BULLS EYE! I was on a paid coaching call yesterday with one of my coaches and a whole bunch of people were asking how they could get on TV with him or like him. He basically said, you have to give before you receive. So what my coach did was he called a staff member (not the producer, they are extremely busy already) and asked them how he could get in the audience of that show. He get’s that information and he goes.
He then calls that same staff member and says OK, I want to return the show but I want to bring more people and they said OK. So as you know, the posse he was bringing to the show got bigger and bigger to the point that they were asking him to bring more people. It got to the point that they invited him onto the actual show as a speaker several times. Unfortunately, the show is not around any longer but my coach sure is.
We tend to think the way they teach us in school: the shortest distance to an object is a straight line. So we thing the shortest distance to Ryan Lee or any one else is directly to them. From your post this is obviously not true. Give first and then you’ll receive. It never fails. One last point regarding leaving comments on blogs.
I have been leaving comments on a blog by a very, very well known Google Adwords Expert. I’d argue the best one in the US! Recently I recieved a call from one of his staff members. I had to listen to my voicemail two times because I could not believe that I was being contacted by this company. To make the long story short, although I was not ready to jump into Adwords right away, I now have a direct line to someone that has offered his help up front. Like I said, you REALLY nailed this one in the head. Thanks for the extra tips as well. And you bet I’ll be forwarding this link to my coach, it’s too good to not pass along.
Edwin
Thank you for your feedback Edwin and sharing your story.
I’m glad this resonated with you. It’s so simple – but it really works!
Ryan
When it comes to being star struck sometimes its tough to be yourself when they are someone you want to work with. The best suggestion I can make is to simply step in and say something, anything. Break ‘your” ice. They are human to and probably want to connect in some way, especially if you have something to offer and we all have something to offer!
I once heard it said that you”ll never regret something you didn’t say. Hogwash. Say it. Be couragous and grow.
You are right Tom. Have courage and just connect!
Ryan
I’ve been trying to do this whenever I read a new blog post:
“Comment frequently on their blog posts (I certainly look favorably on people who are involved in my blog and I definitely remember all your names!)”
It’s almost silly not to, but it’s amazing how often we read other people content and then just disappear. As an Internet Marketer it’s almost like leaving money on the table because most articles allow you to leave a comment with a link back to your website too.
Wes,
It’s such a simple and powerful way to not only let yourself be known to the “expert”, but to get extra traffic too.
No-brainer!
Ryan
Oh it’s always funny to learn with you Ryan ! This new checklist is really good but when so many try to offer a coffee in few days… don’t you afraid to be too much nervous ? Not good to drink too much coffee….
Seriously, it’s really true. Newbies don’t have money and ask for free advice with so many questions, we can have a great heart… we have to pay our bills too. It’s like this cat who run for its tail… not enough money to pay for a good coaching, not enough knowledge to make enough money to live, no job, only the web to give them a chance to pay their own bills but they don’t know how to work online and they don’t have enough money to pay for a good coaching… so they ask for free and they make lot of mistakes. Do you have a checklist for them too ?
Have a great day !
Hi Sylvie,
Most of the tactics (like posting on a facebook page or replying to a blog post) are 100% free. So is volunteering if they run an event.
Where there’s a will – there’s a way.
When I first started and didn’t have any money, I spent all my days off at the library, the bookstore and printing out free articles.
It’s a matter of how badly you want it!
Ryan
Great simple advice once again Ryan. I followed your advice several times before and have had great success. I finally took action and released my 1st ebook instead of trying to perfect it and it sold some copies. Then I took your advice on submitting articles and I was offered a publishing contract! Now my ebook will be listed on Amazon and Barnes & Nobles! So once again THANKS!!!!
I am trying to find and “in” with a business and I think you just made me re-evaluate my methods…don’t go overboard and look like a stalker! LOL
Thanks again and keep up the great work.
Hey Todd,
That’s great you are having success with my advice.
Keep tacking action and build that momentum!!!
Ryan
P.S. And never be a stalker :)
You would not believe how timely this is. I just got back from a bike ride during which I spent time brainstorming about promoting a triathlon product launch I’m doing next year. This helped stir up my brain pot. Thanks Ryan.
Incidentally, most of my biggest JV partners have been formed through personal relationships. Face-to-face connections will never be replaced, even in the digital age.
Cheers,
Ben
Hey Ben,
I’m glad it helped you Ben.
And by the way, you are one of the guys whose name I always remember because you post on the blog frequently and when you attend my events – you go out of your way to say hello.
You are doing it the right way!
Ryan
Thanks Ryan…Been a fan since the first Membership Site Bootcamp with Tim Kerber.
Looking forward to the IC training today as well and so glad to be aboard!
Hey Michael – thanks for your loyalty and welcome to the IC!
Ryan
Ryan, when I first read the headline of this post I thought ‘ah yes, great advice on a simple topic’. As I read through all the feedback I realised it is actually a truly massive topic. For me, everything has happened by giving or offering to give, not just ‘how not to annoy a guru ;)’
For example, I built a list that currently has 4,376 subscribers (just checked in MailChimp) in an obscure niche simply by being helpful on just one forum. I posted around 50 times over 3 months and the list built up over a year. Brilliant, and all because I gave out info instead of demanding it.
Quentin – great, great stuff!
You are proof you can market and build a list for FREE just by delivering value. I might have to bring you on the IC as a guest for a future training session :)
Ryan
Ryan, it would be a great pleasure.
Hey Ryan!
The thing that’s so cool about really APPLYING what you learn from the “big dogs” is that you realize that it’s worth INFINITE amounts of dollars…even when you’ve paid $10,000 to gain the knowledge! My heart is so full of gratitude for the speakers and “gurus” that I often want to say ‘thank you’ even beyond the money…which we don’t have a lot of yet!!!
But here’s a quick story that really caused me to realize that we CAN do something huge for them:
My husband and I had a chance to help with registration at a huge event last weekend, and it seemed so insignificant, initially, compared to the value we’ve received in the past 12 months from the trainer. But our passion for the event and even for him, as a mentor got others excited as they registered. In fact, I had 3 different people come and find me (out of about 800 people!) to tell me how much they appreciated my enthusiasm and welcoming smile during registration! So it made me realize something huge.
No matter how small you feel your “help” may be to the big guys, I believe we ALL have something of value to offer, no matter where we are in this journey! So have fun at events and be a blessing to those who are ESPECIALLY just starting and encourage them!
We all are a part of “the experience” at an event and I discovered that an awesome way we can say ‘THANK YOU’ to the guys who work so hard to serve and teach us is to simply be loving and kind and helpful to every person we meet!
They may remember YOU as part of the event and experience as much as they remember that life changing golden nugget of content they learned!
P.S. Can’t wait to attend one of your deals and hopefully shake your hand and thank you in person for all your hard work!
Connie
Great story Connie and thanks for sharing!
And I look forward to meeting you too :)
Ryan
hey Ryan,
Great posts especially these last 2 days- you know there are times I’ve felt like commenting on a post but didn’t for some reason now I see how important that can be to do – so thanks and I’m really enjoying the membership !
You’re a great example for me -I’m paying attention to what you do!
(not a stalker though- just wanting to learn! :) )
BB
Glad to have you on board BB!
Now, you can feel free to post here all the time… I always welcome comments and feedback.
Ryan
Hey Ryan, just wanted to say thanks for the constant kick-ass content and for the KILLER value of the Inner Circle! You mention mentors, and one of mine is one of the guys you helped bring to the forefront: Zach Even-Esh.
Long story short, I INVESTED in his time instead of begging for it and now have a “mentor” in my corner that has already been a huge part in getting me started in whatever you can call this little journey of mine. He’s the one that got me pointed in your direction and now I’m (shamelessly) studying the way you work and hoping to slowly build another relationship with someone that’s where I want to be!
Like you said, if you want to build a relationship of respect and trust, I think it’s important for them to know that you’re serious and won’t waste their time. Just a thought for the “young’ns” like myself to consider.
Success leaves clues!!! Thanks for everything and looking forward to the coaching today,
G.R.
Hey G.R.,
You are in good hands with the wildman, Zach!
I’m glad you are enjoying the Inner Circle… we’re just getting started :)
Ryan
Thanks for writing this Ryan! This was the main takeaway I got from your workshop with Matt. I realized that relationships really is the key to any lasting success in anything I do. (I’m actually starting to believe that it’s MORE important than 99% of the “IM” products out there.
And I can’t wait to give you a raving testimonial of my results since attending your workshop… I’ve used the “mindset” you mentioned in this post to get in touch with a major, major player in the fitness world whom I’m JVing with this week and will see my first real source of income.
ROCK ON RYAN!
That’s great to hear Yongho! I have no doubts you will kick some major ass!
Ryan
Hey Ryan
Yet another great post today… which prompted me to do something I’ve been meaning to do for ages… investing in you and your programs once again. The last product I bought from you was probably about 2 years ago (if you don’t count fitnessgenerator.com subscription for the last 4.5 years!)
Anyway, excited to being part of the IC as my business transforms over the next few months
Tim
Welcome back Tim!
You are in good hands in the IC baby!!!
Ryan
Ryan:
This is soooo true!
You’ve inspired me, you’ve promoted me, you’ve even HUGGED me upon meeting me… You’re a great model of what you can be to not only your members, but to people in general. Glad to FINALLY be in the Inner Circle and i’ll support all that you do.
Re-launching my continuity project next month and it all started from CS1.
Best,
Mack Burnett III
Dedicated Ryan-ite – ;)
Mack – you are an example of a guy out there “doing it”.
It’s an honor to know you and looking forward to our next hug :)
Ryan
hey Ryan, I just wanted to say a big “THANK YOU” for being real, being accessible, and for being responsive. I’m amazed at the many personal responses you make even on your blog! (and by the way, this behavior of yours has got to stop- you’re making so many other online gurus look really bad by comparison!) -jk of course, I LOVE it!!
keep on kicking @$$- Kevin
Hey Kevin,
Thank YOU for being a loyal subscriber.
And your goal should be to be SO GOOD – you do make all your competitors look bad :)
Rock ‘on.
Ryan
Ryan,
You are always on target as everyone else has already confirmed. Just the other day in talking to someone I was trying to get an interview with, I explained how I would be promoting their website and their stuff, it turned the call around and she realized I was not just trying to get something, but to offer help to them.
You could hear the change in the tone of her voice instantly.
Thanks as always,
James
James – it is incredible how people respond to you when you come from a space of “giving”.
Keep up the great work.
Ryan
Ryan,
Such a great post. I have to mention that at a seminar with a few hundred people there were multiple speakers. One of the speakers (very well known) gave something of value for free to the attendees. I thought that was so nice of him. I emailed him and thanked him on behalf of the group and myself, etc. It was straight from the heart. After a few weeks, he emailed me back and said I was the only one that thanked him and he did something else for me. Wow! I was so impressed. This totally backs up your posting today. Great advice, Ryan. Thank you.
Paulette Salvia
Paulette,
It’s so rare that someone reaches out to me after I speak at an event.
Sometimes it’s the really simple things that stand out.
Ryan
Hey Ryan-
Great post. Thanks for amazing advice! I would feel like a big pain in the neck if I asked someone to coffee while at a conference, just assuming that they are really busy or would rather just do their own work if they had a break. So, how do you go about asking? “Hi, I’m Marie. Love your work and by the way how much do you charge to sit and have coffee?” Just wondering what the conversation would look like. Thanks!
Hey Marie,
Get in touch with them BEFORE the event.
Something like.. “I’m a big fan of your work… would love to take you for a quick coffee whenever your free, and of course, pay you $X for your time”.
It’s that simple.
If someone offered to take me for a quick coffee and pay me my fee when I’m already at an event – I’d take them up on it..
Ryan
It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you! The more the merrier :)
Nice on Nathan!
I hate when people ask – and screen all requests for my time accordingly!
This Forbes article has some good tips for how to respond when people ask:
http://blogs.forbes.com/work-in-progress/2011/03/28/no-you-cant-pick-my-brain-it-costs-too-much/
Thanks for the link James!
-Ryan
Awesome post Ryan, leaving that 1st impression as someone who cares and wants to help is just fundamental to build a relationship. Thank for the tips, I will definitely use them :)
Hey Luis,
First impression means a lot.. and with technology, it’s much easier to get on someone’s radar.
Ryan
Ryan, my event was super and because the advice -to go for it – came from someone that i respected / YOU / i made it happen…….When you serve others you get so much back in return……….Thanks…..
Larry,
That’s great to hear your event went well. I never had a doubt :)
Ryan
Ryan, can I pick your brain? Only kidding!!
Thanks for this post. I’m a keen new student of the fine art of JVing, also known as “becoming friends with awesome people with similar interests and if the opportunity comes up to mutually help each other out”, That’s how I see it anyway.
Am I wrong? Should you JV with people you don’t like just for the business?
Mik Forfa
Hi Ryan,
You know what? This is what I used to think about you:
just another IM in my inbox sending me junk I don’t want. This is what I think about you NOW:
This guy is sending me some great tips and all for free. Hell I think I’ll keep him for a little while longer. (yes I was thinking of unsubscribing, lol)
Keep it up Ryan, this is great, I can’t wait to hear from you next.
ben
Hey Ben,
I’m glad you stuck around… you made a great choice!
Ryan
P.S. Don’t be shy… feel free to buy my products anytime :)
Morning Ryan,
I agree to make the effort to get to know the person, enjoy yourself and as AJ said “a few rounds at the bar doesn’t hurt”
Hey the bar at CS3 was the place to be, great people and great connections.
Thanks for your work
Adam Walker
Yo Adam!
It was great seeing you again at CS3. It was so much fun putting it on and lots of deals are made at the bar indeed!
Ryan
Everytime I give you my money, I’m pleasantly suprised Ryan. After attending CS3, my first IM event ever, I realized my web designer was a dud. I just had my first meeting in NYC with our new guy and it feels like we’re on the same page. I met an awesome group of people at your event and we even started a FB group to keep in touch. I just became an IC member and I think I’ve found the new home page for my browser. I love the fact that you never sugar coat anything, keep cranking out great content!
Thanks Marc… I appreciate the feedback and I’ll continue to work my ass off to deliver MASSIVE value.
Sugar coat? Never! It’s just not in my vocabulary.
Rock ‘on
Ryan
I have similar views Ryan… Also I can relate with you in multiple ways… Started my business in Queens, NY (Similar to Bronx I guess?)… 4 kids….
Absolutely, Offer to pay for the time taken from an expert. Thanks for your honest leadership, so many people need it…
Abe Cherian
Multiple Stream Media
Great read Ryan. I’m just starting in this arena of Internet Marketing and know I have a lot to learn. I have my very first blog and domain name. I just recently attend Vince Delmonte’s Live Large Live seminar because I have a passion for fitness. He seems to be doing really well with his business and I am one of his affiliates. I told him to take a look at my blog and he said it was a good start but refered me to you. I’m looking forward to learning how to be successful at this.
Tim Ernst.
Hi Ryan! This is GREAT advice! And first, let me say that I am VERY HAPPY to now be part of your Inner Circle…I attended your conference last year with Valerie Young on the team of Idea Detectives and LOVED it…you (and all of your speakers I might add) gave some of the most actionable and smart content I’ve ever received and I read A LOT.
You are so right about this issue…I was recently approached by a contact to coach her for free if that wasn’t enough, she also asked for a friend of hers who I don’t know. Later, when I was telling her that I was going to ask a mutual friend of ours to buy an hour of her time to ask a few wordpress questions, she balked and said just take her to dinner and ask to “pick her brain”…I couldn’t believe it.
I’m a true believer that you get what you pay for…if its free there won’t be much value and I also believe in honoring people in paying them for what they do…after all as solopreneurs and free lancers – their intellectual property is their product!
Gotta give to get. You provided a great way to get in good with a “big dawg”. I like it.
LOVED this post, Ryan! I hate it when someone asks me that question, because I know that all they want is my valuable time and advice for nothing – and that they’ll almost never follow through with any advice that they’ve “asked” for. I’ve paid my mentors, coaches and experts thousands of dollars for the advice I’ve gotten. And it’s been worth every penny. There’s nothing more powerful in networking with top people than giving value, rather than taking. Offer to give something of value to their tribe. Offer your services, time, expertise to enhance their business. It’s what creating strong relationships is about. And in the giving, you will certainly receive, as well, because those who are tops in their professions are also willing to give back in big ways. It’s how they’ve gotten to the top.
Even the word “pick” can rub someone the wrong way!! Great tip.