This one is golden!

97 Comments

April 2nd, 2008

I met the biggest jerk in the world

I just flew into town last night and I have to share this story with you about the plane ride.

I boarded the plane and it was an average size jet, with two rows of three seats.

On one side of the aisle was a man, probably in his late 50s sitting next to the window, and the other two seats next to him were two young girls (probably 6 and 4 years old)

Now, on the other side of the aisle, two rows back was the little girls’ mom. And the mom also had a newborn baby in her arms.

So here she was, with 3 little girls and she didn’t have a seat next to two of them.

The mom had really kind eyes and felt bad not sitting next to her kids, but she didn’t say anything.

I immediately saw what was going on and told her to ask the man to switch seats with her so she could sit next to her kids.

And do you know what the guy said…

NO.

You see, the mother had a “middle” seat and he wanted a “window” seat so he wouldn’t swtich.

I swear, I almost jumped out of my seat and chocked him.

I really was in shock.

Can you believe it.

Not only should he have given up the seat, he should have volunteered it immediately.

It was only a 90 minute flight. Heck, I’d stand for the entire flight so a mom could sit next to her kids.

It really takes a lot to get me angry, and this degree of shelfishess did it.

I told her since I also had a “window” seat that I will take her “middle” seat and he can have mine. Then, she’ll be with her kids.

She felt badly and didn’t want to inconvenience me, but I insisted.

So he took the offer and all was well.

Am I telling you this to tell you how great I am.

NO.

I was raised to always help others in need. Even an act as simple as giving up your seat and being a bit uncomfortable for 90 minutes so someone else can be happy can make a difference.

It’s the small things that count.

It was just a seat. Both of my grandfathers served in World War II and they sacrificed a lot more than a seat for other people.

I urge you to practice one random act of kindness for a stranger today.

And please, whatever you do, do NOT act like that jerk on the plane. That’s not the way to leave this world a better place than before you were here.

Stay strong,
Ryan

Continuity Income | Recurring Revenue | Passive Income

Nii Wilson said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:34 am

Hey what’s going on Ryan. As much as you smile that is a funny thought of you choking someone. I know how you feel man. It is sad that we live in a world like that. But with as much positivity there is out there and what you personally put out there will make ALL jerk big or small insignificant.
-Nii Wilson

Mark said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:36 am

Nice going. I still think you should have choked the jerk. Hopefully he learned something, but I doubt it.

Karen said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:42 am

I enjoyed reading your email today. I flew with my kids for the first time last fall and I was separated from my children as well. Luckily I had kind people willing to switch seat. Thank you for being such a good influence.

Karen

cindy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:47 am

Well …that doesnt surprise me that he was like that.. I have met alot of ‘jerks’ so I commend you on at least planting a seed that maybe he will think about after.. I doubt it.. I just couldnt imagine living or working with this man.. I would of ‘choked ‘him long before he got on that plane.. However, I always try to do one good thing for someone everyday.Maybe we all can do the same.. thanks for sharing..

tom said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:48 am

I’m with you 100%. Having grown up on Long Island and spending 44 years of my life there, I was exposed to more jackasses, like that guy on the flight, than there are grains of sand on Jones Beach. The odd thing was that when ever you left the NY area, people were genuinely nice. A smile and hello on eye contact and my reaction was always what does he want? It’s a mind set in the NY metro area. Walk down a Manhattan Street during rush hour all you see are scowls not smiles. Obviously, not everyone in the NY Metro area is nasty and you will occasionally see a man offer his seat on the train to a woman, it’s just that there are a lot schmucky people out there. We got off of LI 3 years ago and couldn’t be happier being in upstate NY. My father-in-law is fond of saying 95% of the people are s*!theads, stay in the top 5%!

Monique said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:50 am

My heart goes out to all the jerks in the world because at the end of the day they will be punished for being themselves. It’s sad when people don’t have a heart that pumps love through their veins, and it makes me angry to know that they simply don’t care about anything. I’m glad there are Angels that walk along side of a lot of us on a daily basis that help us to become the caring people we are intended to be.

Floskie said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:53 am

Hi,
I think the same jerk was on a flight to Hawaii that my husband and I took a while back:-) He had a window seat and wouldn’t change with me so I could sit with my husband—-my husband changing with the person next to me wouldn’t work since it was a dad with two kids:-) Anyway, the guy wouldn’t change and then spent the next 7 hours with the shade DOWN!!! He didn’t even look around to see where I was sitting–he just snapped “No!” when my husband asked.
I totally agree with your letter!!!

Floskie

SiteHoppers said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:54 am

Great stuff Ryan,
I m personally guilty of doing that myself too. (but it was a 10 hour flight to Korea from San Fran)

Yes, if it was just 90 minutes, that’s total selfishness.

Kelly C said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:55 am

Okay you are probably going to think I am a complete wierdo however I had to share this with you. First of all I can’t stand mean people. They just get under my skin. Thank GOD you were their to help her out. The world is much easier to live in with kindness. Now let me tell you I have no idea how I became connected to your website however I am not complaining. I never respond to anything but I sure enjoy reading what you write. You inspire & motivate me and I need that. Thankyou so much. You have no idea how your little emails have made a difference in my life and I don’t even know that much about you besides your in to fitness. Whatever - I’m a goof!
Thanks as well with the little updates regarding your family. I can relate with so much you have to say. I am married with 3 kids my youngest being 2, oldest 18. Yes I am crazy however my kids are my life, as well as my husband.
Maybe one day I will actually take a few extra mintues and check out your website. I have to be honest and say that I read your emails at work. I basicly read what is in my inbox and go on with my day. I look forward to what you have to say and Thankyou for your daily messages. It really does help!

By the way I do exercise about 4 days wkly using free weights and run & walk on my treadmill. I try eating heathly as well. None of this I’m sure comes close to what you do. Oh well, just thought I would share a tad bit of something that may make sense. WHATEVER!

Dennis Graham said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:56 am

I know exactly how you and the mother must have felt. At one time or another, I have experienced both situations. What is also disappointing in your case is the fact that inflight did not take charge by rearranging the seating before takeoff.

Your story is just another example of how many of us fail to observe our surroundings to notice that others nearby may be benefit from a small gesture kindness.

Steve Preston said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 am

Hey Ryan

True gentleman are few and far between unfortunately.

Yesterday, it was pooring rain in Virginia. I was working with a client when I realized that the sunroof in my truck was slightly open.

I grabbed an umbrella and walked out to the far side of the lot to close the sunroof…

As I was walking I crossed paths with a young 20-something mom with her infant. She was carrying this poor child in the pooring rain…

I insisted that she take my umbrella.. and she did.

I told her that she could leave it at the gym for me the next sunny day that she gets a chance.

It feels good to go the extra mile..

Regards

Steve Preston

Kristie said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:59 am

I am a high school physical education teacher and today at the beginning of each class I am going to share your story and have a brief discussion about it and then challenge my students to do a RAK (random act of kindness) attack on someone today! Thanks for the reminder that we sometimes need to be more conscious about kindness!

Gaydonne said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:01 am

He is a jerk!! The world needs more people like you and less of him. I am going to pass your email on to others.
God Bless You!

Anja Bolbjerg said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:03 am

I am usually a pretty calm person myself but that kind of crap can really get me going as well! Unfortunately I see it often on the planes. Those seats are holy to some people! Just the thought of it is enough to make me write here

Trish said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:09 am

The same thing happened to me years ago when I was traveling w/young kids. We got a flat out “No” when asked to switch seats. People on planes can be really rude! I am much more aware of family seating arrangements when I fly and will gladly offer up my seat if a mom/dad isn’t sitting by their kids. Plus, I want those parents by their kids for behavioral reasons!

Lisa said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:10 am

Ryan,
I love hearing about all of your stories. You seem like such a caring person. There are not too many people around like that.
I am a caring person also, and I would have made that guy really “think”. I would have said ” Is there any way you can Change your seat, so this Mother can sit with her small children?” That should make him feel Guilty(hopefully). If it didn’t, I would have made him feel horrible! I would have said”where is your compassion?” If he still didn’t get it (what goes around comes around) .

Alex Poole said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:10 am

Hi Ryan,

Not as bad but I do remember being stuck between two larger (being kind here) and smelly men who proceeded to talk infront of me for the whole flight.

Once I found out they knew each other I offered to change seats with them, to which they replied “no we book it like this, I like the window and he likes the aisle.”

Well I could of struggled with only having 50% of my seat (they spilled over into the rest of mine) and block out their chat but this was no 90 minute flight.

13.5 hours London to LA…argh! some people.

It’s always nice when you let us into the ‘Ryan Lee Life’

Alex
http://www.alexpoole.tv

Michael said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:11 am

Hello all,

The best feeling comes from doing something for someone and they do not know who did it. I used to live in a small townhome community. When it snowed, my sons and I would shovel everyone’s walk before they would be up for the day. The we would sit at the window and look ath the surprised faces. Made us all feel real good about helping others.

Jesse said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:22 am

Nice story Ryan. That’s a great suggestion: a random act of kindness to a complete stranger. Said another way, when someone does you a favor don’t return it but pass it on to someone else with no expectations from that person. I think more people should follow your lead Coach Ryan. We love ya man. jp

Marco D. Rivera said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:26 am

Living in the Bronx, NY, I choose to commute. I usually have a seat and can study on the way to “The city”.

It is funny that when the train goes into “The city”, most of the people in suits don’t give up a seat while the most “Thugged out” (thuggish looking) individual is the one that would even holler from the other side of the train to give a lady (usually expecting or with children) a seat.

Ryan, did that jerk look like he worked out?
Answer is no. If he did, he would have been more than happy to share the positive energy that surrounds us.

Okay, I have the affliction of optimism.

By the way, I bet you this incident WILL haunt him for the rest of his days; the bitter, single ba@&ard.

Garreck said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:33 am

AMEN! I’m 34 and was raised to be a gentleman. A gentleman gives his seat to a woman no matter what. Opens doors for them, pulls out the chair, helps them put on their coat etc. This doesn’t have to do with male chauvinism or me thinking that women are inferior. It has to do with respect. I get just as angry as you did when I see selfishness like that. And when I see that I do my best to humiliate that guy. Good for you for being a good example of what a real man should be. The world needs more of that. To many guys think that being a “man” means that you do whatever you want to do at the expense of others. Being the constant “tough guy”. Giving flowers, hugs, crying, playing with children, showing any emotion other than anger or aggression are all seen as “wimpy” or not manly . As you and I know that’s not what being a man is about. Congrats again!

Gerardine said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 am

There are a lot of ignorant people in this world.

When I took the bus I was told to stand and give my seat to anyone older than myself. Even if it was a young child I was told to give up my seat.

I am female; I was taught that common courtesy makes everyone a better person.

I found out the hard way that life doesn’t work that way. There are more people out there for themselves than those that show kindness.

I worked at a great job with eight men. This was a big cell phone company. I complained when I was offered sexual favors. I was also shown their ‘equipment’, if you get my drift. When I complained I was fired.

Yes, I heard it before “they can’t do that’. Sorry they did and companies still do that.

I got another job where my boss told me to pack heavy boxes in the warehouse after the packer quit; even though I was at a desk job.
I refused; she told me I would be fired if I didn’t comply. I permanently damaged my back trying to keep my job.
Then they said they couldn’t ‘accommodate my work injury’. And fired me, “they can’t do that’ again, maybe not, but they did!

I have been in court with Work comp for four years. I am about to lose everything.

There are more jerks out there then nice people…Oh, just for the record. The HR woman in my last job belonged to a religious cult. Go figure!

I don’t have to worry anymore about standing up on a bus, or where I sit on a plane. My pain and lack of funds stops me from going anywhere….

Anyone know a agent or a publisher interested in my story?

Smithers said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 am

Excellent read Ryan! If we had more people with the same intentions, the world would be a much greater place.
Little thing’s are irreplaceable… take 30 little rocks from a playground, try and put them all back to the same spot you cant… Take one big rock and put it back…. It is easy.
Doing one big nice thing a month does not make you a great person. It’s all the little thing’s that add up.
Stay strong!
Ryans friend, Smithers.

KC said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 am

Ryan,

BRAVO FOR YOU! It is unbelievable how self-centered some people are. I have done the very same thing for people on planes, as well.

I wanted to share something that I have been doing to give back to those who sacrifice and risk all for us and our freedom. I have been looking out for soldiers in my area when I am eating out or filling my car up with gas. Whenever I see them, I’ll buy their meal or a tank of gas. Sure it can be a little expensive, but it is small compared to what they do for all of us.

I urge everyone who can afford to do this to try it. You cannot beat how good it feels!

Joseph Pennington said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 am

Ryan, great show of respect. I travel to shanghai quite a bit with work. If you travel enough, you’ll see these types of people everywhere. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately, it’s probably a reflection of their personality. What goes around, comes around. One of the most precious gifts on earth is our relationship with each other, that’s what keeps the world turning.

Angelo Hunter said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:03 am

Hey Ryan,
I’m a big believer on doing whatever is takes to make a person smile. I was raised with similar values. I come from a family who adopted 6 children. My parents already had me and a special needs child, so I’m the type of person who can find positive out of any situation. So giving up a seat is nothing! It’s nice to know there are some kind hearted folks like yourself. Keep kicking Some tail…Cheers and much success!

Nick said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:05 am

I was raised with the same feelings as you expressed. You should always try to help someone else if you can. It promotes good will and what little you do, can spread to others and perpetuate. The guy on the plane was most definately an uncaring person.

TJ said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:07 am

I must be a “mean” person then. I get nauseated on flights and it is not fun. I like to have a window or aisle seat. It’s bad enough getting sick on a plane. It’s worse to have two others witness it!

Nat said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:09 am

I’m not sure I have the guts to leap and choke jerks like you would. But i’m certainly grateful for your good intention. I will do kind things to people, too! You have my word!

ron said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 am

I do not consider myself a jerk. I have given my seat on buses to women and stood. I share often what I have and try to be polite.
I am an old man now. I have not been on too many planes. I was in a crash landing in Nam.
I would not have offered my window seat either. When I make a reservation, I make sure I have an appropriate seat. If one is not available, I do not go. She should have reserved seats together. If none were available on that flight, she needed to wait for another flight.
Two young children need a parent with them close enough to keep them behaving. The window seat guy could have had a terrible flight if those kids were undisciplined.

todd august said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:26 am

people like that drive me crazy two. keep up the great attitude.
todd

Greg said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:26 am

Ryan…Good for you. Even though the guy could probably use a good slap, it wouldn’t have any effect. Contrary to what we all learned from old time movies, a good throttling doesn’t fix a jerk. It’s closer to reality to say one of the few good things my dad ever told me…”you can’t fix stupid”. Maybe one day the jerk will wake up (let’s hope and pray) and realize that many of the people on the plane will forever have a perception of him colored by that one experience. And some day, he’ll probably need to interact with one of those other folks, who are now totally convinced he’s an a$$h0**.

RoadRanger said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am

Yah know, it is easy to think the worst of people - I thought you were better than that? Are you sure he wasn’t one of the many people who have a fear of flying and could only deal with it by being in a window seat? Then there are others who get claustrophobic and can only deal with an isle seat. The airlines used to be service oriented and would try to fix a situation like this without being asked - shame on them! I rarely fly these days and even chose to drive us down to Orlando from Connecticut for our last vacation rather than be treated like cattle and potential terrorists by going to an airport!

Chris said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 am

I couldn’t agree with you more. I would have made a scene and told the guy he was a jerk. Unfortunately in our society now I would have been the bad guy for doing so.

I try to make it a point to let people know when they are being jerks. If I hold the door for someone and they don’t say anything I’ll yell “your welcome”, or if someone doesn’t hold a door open for me I’ll yell “gee thanks”. I also make it a point if someone takes up two parking spaces to say”nice parking job, god forbid you let someone else park”.

Larry said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am

I ABSOLUTELY agree with every single word you said!! Ryan thank you for this article and thank you for noticing and taking action to help that mother out! GOD BLESS YOU!

D said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am

That happened to me, too. I was with my 3yo, and for some reason the airline (United, the unfriendly) did not assign us adjacent seats. I tried to correct it before getting on the plane, but the lines were too long. I tried to correct it with the attendants on the plane, but they told me to just sit down. I tried to correct it by going to the back of the plane (usually people in the back are happy to give up their seats for a seat further forward), but again the attendants told me to just sit down.

So I sat down next to my daughter, in the hopes that I could work it out with someone when things settled down a bit.

The woman who was assigned the seat wouldn’t switch (my daughter, realizing what was happening, started crying). Short version: I was really appalled to find out that the woman would rather sit next to a crying and frightened child than give up her seat.

I was even more appalled when the flight attendant chewed me out — for not making reservations far enough in advance (she had no way of knowing when I made my reservations), for not trying to straighten things out with an attendant earlier (see above), and for not acknowledging that people pay extra for those seats (that last was news to me). She considered me to be the offender. Evidently the whole plane was willing to listen to a terrified child over one person giving up a seat.

Fortunately a kind gentleman offered to rearrange things so that I could sit next to my child. He actually had to yell over the flight attendant’s lecturing in order to get the situation solved.

I was also appalled that, when writing up a complaint (including: so United is then willing to take full responsibility for my child when I am not able to sit next to her?) the only response was a voucher for another flight.

Theresa said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:50 am

Hi Ryan:
Let me tell you a good airline story. When my now 17 year old was just one, and her sister was two..(we have since added two more), we took the girls from LA to FLA for Disneyworld. Ali had a cold, and was quite fussy. She was just turning 1, so really was just a puppy….Anyway she cried and cried and cried…As a former airline employee, I was horrified at the racket my little one was making. Suddenly out of nowhere a big hand layed itself on my shoulder, and a well dressed man obviously on a business trip, said….it’s ok…someday you will look back and realize that the time goes so quick….His hand calmed my soul…and sure enough little Ali stopped….I am sure my tense worry made her cry more. So, on that long flight, for just a moment I was touched by an Angel. Don’t let that moron get you down. There are really good people in this world, and we should focus on that!

I wish one of the little people would have thrown up on him!!!!

Gary Brewer said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 am

Good lob Ryan…
Being a gentleman is a matter of consideration for others.I have between 25-35 clients on the books at any one time.I work every day with people who need special attention as well as high school and college athletes.And those who are not considerate of others don’t last long with me. Sometimes I have my athletes help those who are not as fortunate to teach them lessons not learned in the gym. Thanks bud, you did a good job.

Gene said on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:57 am

Ryan- That was nice the way you solved the mom’s problem on the airplane. It probably would have been satisfying to choke the jerk, but in this day and age, legal issues (such as aggravated assault) must be considered.

I remember, a LONG time ago, when I worked a 6 AM to 2 PM job, I was getting gasoline at about 5:30 AM. A guy driving a big car pulled up in front of me, to the next pump. The kid at the gas station told him to back up. He was instructing him,”keep going, keep going,” until the guy backed into me.

Granted, I was only driving an old van, but the driver denied any responsibility. I did control myself from hitting the driver but I could not
control myself as far as getting in his face and, quite honestly, trying to goad him into hitting me first. He did not; I did not. In retrospect, it was probably better that way.

The moral of the story: I’m not sure….. maybe
that in life, you have to expect to come across some totally unreasonable “jerks.”

Back in my college days (my wild days), I hung out with a bunch of guys from St. John’s University (Queens, NY) who jointly had a boat. This was (I’m dating myself)the summer of ‘72. The name of the boat was:

NULLUS, ILLEGITIMAE NON CARBORUNDUM
Latin which translated becomes “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” Writing to you reminded me of that great boat-name.

Thanks for the newsletters. May your travels be jerk-free, at least for awhile.

-Gene Schu
Long Island, NY

Stephanie said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 am

Ryan, you seem to have such a kind spirit. Just reading your daily emails gets my brain pumping. I’m glad that you did what you did for that lady. I hope others saw it as well and will follow your example! Have a great week!

carol said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 am

Good for you. Maybe there is still hope for this crazy world we live in.

Philip said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:19 am

The beauty of this is YOU didn’t berate, choke or otherwise one-up this guy. You simply righted a wrong in the best way possible. That right there probably made the guy feel worse (if indeed he has feelings!) than if you would have choked him.

100% class act. Kudos brother.

PS. LOVE the Millionaire Workout!

Paul said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 am

The best takeaway from this story is to do somehting that is an unexpected act of kindness. Coming from someone who travels quite a bit, this is definitely missing in our world today… Kudos to Ryan for sharing this.

B.J. Brown said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:34 am

Ryan,
Boy, did my blood boil after reading your plane
experience. I’m so glad to hear that you did something to help. We just do not have enough gentlemen in this world today. My husband is very much a gentleman. We have been married 46 years and he still opens the car door to put me in and out of the car. He would have probably did
what you did, but he could not have kept his mouth
shut after getting the Mother situated. The man
would have known what he should have done. I enjoy your emails.
Thanks for being a gentleman and a family man.
Mom of 5 that were taught to be considerate of others.
B.J.

Catherine said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am

Too bad for him..a random act of kindness from his heart would have made him feel good and would have taken him out of himself. If he only knew what he was missing.

Tammy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:52 am

You never cease to truly inspire me with your emails Ryan. But please don’t let your star’s shine be dulled by others lacking spirit. I am a firm believer in continuing on your own course, regardless of others. I am sure that you will inspire and influence far more that way. And, more importantly, I am sure you set an wonderful example for those two little girls.

rob izsa said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:18 am

Outstanding!! There should never be any hesitation to do WHAT’S RIGHT! This person knows what he did was wrong. Hopefully he’ll learn from his mistake and your example.

Kurt Lee Hurley said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:18 am

Ryan, I couldn’t agree more. Every thought we think and every action we take propels us one step forward or backward. We must choose to either evolve or (de)evolve. It is “us” and only “us” who shall become the benefactors of our choices. Steward yourself WELL.

Coach Silver said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:25 am

I totally agree on what you feel.
It takes courage to do action for others in these days, so it’s ood examples for all of us.
Let we win the battle to ignorance one days, beginning from NOW !

have good time.

Bill Pratt said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am

I was watching ‘Blast from the Past’ (great movie) last week on TV in the UK and the main actor said a Lady or a Gentleman was someone who showed enough respect for you to make you feel comfortable in your surroundings, good manners are a sign of respect for the other person, and please and thankyou cost absolutely nothing

Keep smiling and let’s rise above…

Derek said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:44 am

Well done, Ryan. Well said too.

Frank said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am

Nice work, Ryan!
Good job on your self-control, and on being kind to that lady and her kids.

Ed Scow said on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am

Hey Ryan,
Actions like this speak volumes about the type of person you are and the type of person that a$$ is on the plane.

How could someone’s heart be that cold and dark as to not give up his seat to let a mom sit by her 2 kids.

A similar thing happened to me, but it was my wife and not my little girl. I can understand why this guy didn’t want to give up his seat next to my wife, but I convinced him:)

Seth said on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:04 pm

What kind of idiot thinks a seat next to two small children is preferable to a middle seat?

Jim Labadie said on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm

What an amazing world it would be if everyone made just one random of act of kindness each day.

Shawn said on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Hi Ryan
you did good .It don’t cost nothing to be nice.I expect to pass the world but once.Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness I can show to any creature.Let me do it now.I shall not pass this way again.In the life time we can not do the great thing always.But we can do small things with great love.

andrew caddy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Thank you for setting that example, at least there is someone else out there who wants to make a difference and stand up for the right things in life, and then, oh so great to read so many people agree. Thank you for giving me some hope to keep on trying…

leemac said on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:59 pm

Well good manners, common decency, and common sense aren’t dead (as per your actions), BUT it seems self centered, rude and crude are going strong too. Unfortunately just ride a city bus, go to a store and you will see way toooooo much of people like the jerk on the plane…Well at least not everyone is like him and about all we can do is make sure that we do not follow his lead and teach our children not to. Thankyou for helping that Mom and NOT showing her children that the jerk was in the right.

Isaac Wilkins said on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Ryan, as always, you have a knack for turning an everyday event into a learning experience. The real problem with that whole scenario is that it’s an EVERYDAY EVENT.

Maybe it’s just the way and location that I was raised, but where I come from people help one another. No, we’re not bleeding ourselves out but it’s always better to take care of one another when you get the chance. What was it going to hurt, as far as he was concerned, as to changing seats? Nothing.

What it did do was potentially show two young and impressionable young ladies that it was ok to not look out for other people. Luckily you were there to show them a good example. Bravo. We never know when our actions are going to influence someone else.

Oh, and I agree with Seth in that it must take a special kind of stupid to prefer to be stuck next to two kids on a plane… without their mother.

Beth said on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Funny you should send this…..I would like to share a very similar story…..

Last Thursday night my family was flying home from our spring break vacation (approximately a 2 hour flight). Like the plane you were one, there were three seats on each side of the plane. On the way out, my husband sat with the kids, and I sat in the row across from them, so on the way back, I sat with the kids and my husband sat across the aisle.

As the plane filled, the flight attendant got on the speaker and asked if anyone had an empty seat next to them, and if they would be willing to move to another empty seat so that a mother and daughter could sit next to each other. The row behind me had one empty seat, but the other two were occupied by a husband, wife, and their infant child. After asking three times, and letting us know that we were not taking off until someone gave up their seat, I asked if they would be willing to seat across the row from each other, and “volunteered” my husband to move. Of course, he was not thrilled to move from an aisle seat next to his family, to a middle seat, several rows in front of us - but he did it without hesitation. I do not think the family behind me was overly thrilled with the offer either, as they had to consolidate their stuff (I think they left the seat in the middle empty).

As a mother, it was amazing to me that no one else was willing to make a move.

By the way - that day was our anniversary, not exactly how we wanted to spend it (flying, and not even next to each other), however in the scheme of life, it was such a small “sacrifice”.

Glad to know there are still gentlemen out there!

I hope your story makes other people think twice before they act as selfishly as the man on the plane with you.

Doug said on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:27 pm

Come on Ryan, say the truth…The guy was not a jerk, he IS an asshole!

Dave Fouquette said on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Hey Ryan- You’re a good man and did the right thing. I would have done the same. It’s amazing how some people are so out of touch with what’s important and so focused on their own wants. Keep being you. It’s contagious.

Gail said on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Good work Ryan. You are leading by example, as always. Isn’t it a shame that there are many selfish people around. Possibly the worst thing is that he won’t even be embarassed by the incident. Perhaps he needs an exercise on how to extract his head from his rear end.

Joell Wiederrecht said on April 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm

Ryan,
Thanks for making that mom’s day and setting an example for her girls.
Acts of kindness are hard to come by. Being a mom myself and a mom of a special-needs child, I see the unkindness in our world daily. we all deserve to be treated fairly and kindly, even if takes us out of our comfort zone. But that’s where we learn the most about ourselves and others.

Ronald Dallas said on April 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Everyone should follow the example of Ryan’s ARK (A Random Kindness) the world would be a much better place!!

Jeff Radcliff said on April 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm

Ryan,

Thats a good story to learn from. Its the same in business, look to put other people before yourself will get you a long way.

Thanks for the story..

Bridgett said on April 2nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm

I don’t fly that often. From the rest of the comments, it seems to be pretty common. Ugh. Worse than on the subway (where actually people have been really nice, offering to switch seats or get up so my 5 year old could sit down next to her sister or so I could sit instead of stand (and I don’t mind standing–it burns more calories).

JOEY said on April 2nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm

As a mother of two I know exactly what that young woman was feeling. I have been in that situation and at the time I was too shy to say anything. It really broke my heart and my young children were also distressed by this. That was over twenty years ago and I have to tell you your story brought tears to my eyes and the memory of that flight vividly back to me.
I am very impressed by you. I hope others will learn from this

Lorne Forsberg said on April 2nd, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Thanks for sharing this incident Ryan, and also for the encouragement to do a “random act of kindness” today. I was formerly a police officer and saw many women and children in desparate situations because of the selfish acts of men so anytime I hear of men “being a blessing” to women and/or children it makes my day. Thanks again for your part in making the world a better place.

mitch said on April 2nd, 2008 at 3:35 pm

excellent!
what people need to realise is that giving IS gaining. To truly own something you have to share it. It’s embarrassing to live in a society where this is even an issue. If we don’t give up our privelages (seats) we give up our standing as human beings ,social beings, members of a COMMUNITY.

Karen McCoy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Ryan:

You should have given him your budiness card with your blog address, and told him you would be writing about the entire selfish situation for the whole world to see.
I know he would have openly rejected the idea on the plane, but guaranteed, he would have peeked later on at your blog (and everyone else’s disgusted responses). I think that would have fixed his stupid-ass wagon!
karen

cathy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 3:56 pm

All I can say is, every dog has his day.
How hard is it to be nice!

Kat said on April 2nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Hi Ryan,
Amazing …. I feel sorry for that man as he simply is not awake to his life and the life around him. Maybe your actions will affect him and he will change. I too have a short story about a plane flight. I was flying back to CA (my home) after attending my mother’s funeral in MA. A difficult time, for sure. I was boarding my plane and got talking to a nice man and told him about having just attended my Mom’s funeral. He then handed me his First Class ticket and took my coach tickets. I was so stunned … it was such a gift to me at that very sad time. I thanked him sincerely ……. but never saw him again. So do not lose faith that people are good. Some people are just not awake as yet, but hopefully if they this witness acts of kindness like yours and the man who gave me his ticket, they will wake up. Hope is Alive !

cathy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Hi Ryan,

I usually find comfort, when I encounter those sorts of people, in the idea (hope) that he will get what is coming to him - just a shame that we can’t all be around to see it….

Well done!

cathy

Scott Gough said on April 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Ryan,
I have always been taught that manners are free and don’t cost you anything so use them as often as you like.
Man that guy ptobably didn’t get his usual business class seat and had to fly coach.
Being a gentleman is just a small gift of kindness that your family must be proud of.

Brenda Winner said on April 2nd, 2008 at 5:37 pm

I agree with you and I probably would have done the same thing as well as choked that man. If everyone practiced one act kindness a day this world would definitely be a better place. But we have to be part of the change we are looking for. I would also do anything for an animal!

Tammy said on April 2nd, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Whoaaa! I fly a few times a year and I see Mother’s with children in tow. That is a job within itself let alone someone being so rude like that.

From a Mother myself…thank you! Hats off to you for what you did.

MK said on April 2nd, 2008 at 5:56 pm

Ryan Lee! Way to be part of the solution and not the problem. It was apparent that the man needed a window seat. He was not trying to be mean, just selfish. Instead of being angry and complaining, you CHOSE to find a solution to make it right FOR EVERYONE….

LOVE, the e-letters…

Keep inspiring.

Your fan,

Jeff H said on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:03 pm

I hear you brother. It’s a sad state of affairs when a seat position trumps a basic common sense instinct to help others. All good deeds have their reward; all boneheads will have their day too. Kudos for being such an honorable colleague and decent human being.

Anna Barbosa said on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:00 pm

It’s great that you were paying attention to your environment and found a way to make it better for someone else. I pity that man though because either he is so disconnected from the human experience or he was having a truly horrible day, either way he is the unfortunate one.

Rukshana Parker said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Good morning Ryan
Born and breed in South Africa has thought us alot.It is nice to know that good manners is still alive. It just takes one act of kindness to make a difference is someone’s life.

Brent Lake said on April 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 am

You did the right thing. I am glad there are some people out there who might do the same for my wife and child if put in the same position.

Ken said on April 3rd, 2008 at 8:16 am

I just read “met the biggest jerk in the world.” Thanks for being sensitive and doing something to help. I have to say, Ryan, no act of kindness is complete if done alone. The real lack of kindness seems that you appeared to be the only one offering to help the situation. Thankfully, because you stood up, the jerk was pressured to be more than what he was.

I guess we never know when our kindnesses will result in helping another. But if we never try, that truly is selfish. Just my opinion on this matter. Thanks for sharing the story.

Bryan Howard said on April 3rd, 2008 at 9:27 am

You are truly a gentleman.

Your story reminds me of an incident a few years back.

A mom, traveling alone with an infant, boarded the aircraft and was struggling to handle the baby and her bags. Several of us jumped in to assist her, but by then the baby was crying pretty insistently.

We had all just gotten seated and she was focusing on soothing her very agitated baby. It was then that a man standing in the aisle said loudly “You should have had an abortion”. Well, you can only imagine the shock we all felt.

It was at this point another woman had the presence of mind to say “Too bad your mother didn’t”. Which resulted in a loud applause from the other passengers around, a smile from the young mom and a very embarassed jerk

Emilio said on April 3rd, 2008 at 9:58 am

Ryan,

I hope that the lady who wants to empower everyone never gets in deep water. I would not want to help her and disempower her. I am sure that this person has pretty much forgotten everyone who has helped her along the in her life.

She must be related to Mr Potter from “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

Good Job!
Emilio

Jerry Hill said on April 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 am

Hey Ryan,
My wife often flies with the kids (age 3 & 5) - When in a jam for seating everyone has always been very willing to work with her…I can’t imagine having her call me upon landing and telling me a story of “some jerk”…

There are a lot of good people out there…
To those few jerks; It must suck to be you…

In Strength,
Jerry
http://jerryhillfitness.com/blog/

karen said on April 3rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Your a perfect gentleman more of you we need in this world, your any woman ideal man

J.K.D said on April 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Ryan, You are a very generous man. I can see with just one kind act, it can really change peoples lives. I also have a situation of my own. I am in Track and Field distance running and there is a runner in my team who told another person on my team that I sucked and should not even be trying to run track. Even though I run with them and complete the same workouts at slightly different intervals, while being injured most of the season. At first it really hurt me and i was sad, but I had to get my frustration out and told a senior runner on my team and he was furious. He wanted to talk to him, but I said i will deal with him myself.

Cassie said on April 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm

You have the best subject lines!

I agree whole heartedly with your story. Thank
you for being such a great example for others.

sara said on April 3rd, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Random acts of kindness…effortless and rewarding. Random acts of bad manners…unexceptable and should be pointed out. We should all set a good example. Maybe a slap on the wrist is necessary. Next time say something.. Let’s see what happens. Maybe they’ll see

sara said on April 3rd, 2008 at 10:14 pm

PS. Ryan..thanks for setting a good example. u have a sweet heart..

Drew Griffin said on April 3rd, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Ryan, indeed doing random acts of kindness should be a daily occurance. The Universal Law of Reciprocation is very powerful. However, your instance should be commonplace and there should be no guilt felt for feeling ill towards this selfish man. I too would hope that one would extend good will towards my wife and kids in an event such as the one on the plane. Stay Strong!

Jason said on April 4th, 2008 at 2:02 am

I know I will probably get jumped on for this, but i have to disagree with your actions here. Remember the saying, “never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins”? You don’t know where this guy was coming from when you encountered him. I know that I get claustrophobic whenever I cram myself into an airplane (I’m 6′3″ and always fly coach). I try to book well in advance to secure an aisle or window seat (or failing that, show up 2-3 hours early and hope to get an exit row seat). If two little girls sat down next to me and had their mother two rows back, I do not feel that I am automatically obliged to trade seats. Now if the girls started getting anxious, that would be a different thing. But here are two sisters who have each other, and are on a plane ride together, with their mom right behind them. As long as this isn’t a problem, I would continue to hug the window and hope the flight passes quickly. If another passenger stepped in and demanded that I switch seats with someone in a middle seat for chivalry’s sake, I would have a problem with him. Again, if the girls were upset that would be another thing. But given the situation you described, I think that your rush to judgment on this man is unwarranted. You don’t know his situation, and I don’t think this case warrants him having to explain himself to self righteous strangers on a plane. While I believe that you are a good person and that you meant well, I think that your approach to this situation was the wrong one.

Luca said on April 4th, 2008 at 5:49 am

Ryan you are a gentleman. Delicacy and nobleness of soul are lacking these days.

Dan said on April 4th, 2008 at 10:11 pm

This man did not need a window seat as he obviously should be spending more time looking in (within) than out…

BILJANA said on April 5th, 2008 at 12:58 am

Ryan, I hav

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